Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
I bet you don't know meCassie Audrey FIFTEEN. TAKEN, 030211. 130297.
LJ is everything to me. I like novels & the colour blue. I give (o) fucks to haters. I always get inspired by passionate people doing what they fancy about. I like to say what's on my mind, whether it bothers people or not.
— Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
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Friday, October 28, 2011
Good no-more-excel morning!
Eventhough its pretty much dead in here.
So, goodmorning readers. I decided to delete some of my older post. I just felt like it. There are just those few times, I feel like starting things over. But I just don't know where to begin. Well this is a good start. At least.
It's been like forever. Well, I'm not expecting for a Prince Charming to wear me a glass slipper. But, a phone call or a text would be fine. School is almost over. Which is a good thing. I can actually do something about my sleeping hours. I now have panda eyes. Ahh. 300+ more days to PMR 2012. & I already have those goosebumps. I should really be focusing on my studies next year. Yes, I should.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Catching your dreams, seems alot more easier when you're sleeping
Hai people. Done with excels. Now detention & peka. I'm gonna be quarantined tomorrow because of my peka. Sucks being me for losing it. I never keep my things properly. I am an untidy person. I now then realize that. Anyway. School was okay. It was great. ERT was fine. Science, it gave me the hibabajebies. I even wrote down " I don't know :( " on the paper. I fucking did it just to tell teacher how fucked up the situation was. Recess with my babes was fun. I miss them already. They won't be going to school tomorrow. Atleast Azlin is. I love her. Describing her. She forever makes me laugh. She understands me. She listens to my problem, and I listen to hers. She's like my sister. But the weird thing is, we never went out together. Which sucks, alot. Yknow what, I feel alot more freedom after the excel.
I seriously need to sleep early. My sleeping hour is fucked up. I spend my time crying almost every night now. I don't know why. I think it's because of this feeling that has been haunting me for few weeks already. But I'm not going to let myself go through a day full with depression because of this girl I've always been jealous of. Yes, I am jealous of baby's ex. I never say bad things about her, I never talk bad about her. I never liked her but, I'm just doing things what I think is right. I always have this thoughts that baby still have feelings for her. Which really has happened to everyone. I just don't know how to avoid from thinking about it. It has been always stuck into my mind ever since I was with baby. I told baby about this and every time I tell her it still doesn't feel right. Nothing does. Nothing has ever been right. I just wish that once, things work out perfectly..
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Literally killed me
So I woke up dead. I was even dead before. I guess nothing changed then.
I am getting fairer after the kawad in KKcity. Even my friend told me that. Well atleast better. What difference does it makes? Anyway. I didn't eat much today. Stated that cause that doesn't usually happens. First of, cause I felt so awkward during recess. Everyone in the canteen was bitchy. Everyone was talking so loud. I felt like slapping their faces. I sound mean. But sadly its true.
Hai people. Today didn’t go so well. I had the worst headache ever. I felt like vomiting, but nothing happened. Maths was surreal hard. I guess my hard work didn’t payoff then. It was so disappointing. And I had to lie to my dad. Here how it goes..
Dad: how was your maths? Me: Err, it was fine. Nothing hard. As usual.
Knowing my dad listening to my tone, he would’ve knew I was lying. & then I think cause he knew I tried my best. I did.
Anyway. Tomorrow is Deepavali. Meaning, no school. No excel. Rest for one day then back to school. I guess that’s okay. Could really need that. I need all the rest I can get. My sleeping hours are fucked up. *deepsigh* I don’t really feel like going out tomorrow. Even though I’m jealous with people going out with their boyfriend/girlfriends. I wanna spend time with baby too. Nevermind. Maybe just not yet. I’m feeling kinda sick. I should get some rest.
Everybody lies. This is beyond true. So legit. No one tells the truth. This is not mine though. I found this on tumblr. And I just had to post it. So relevant
You were gone before I said goodbye
Is it even possible to win this fight?
My feelings are uneven now. Pretty much miserable. Well, I'm not gonna expect. Just going to believe that everything happens for a reason. I need to keep myself awake in the real world which is honestly going to hurt me & to realize that life is unfair, and always will be.
Honestly, right now. I would just go lay back and start reading. That is just me, feelin' a little bit odd.
Excel is going to end in like 2 more days. Which means, school is almost over. & that's a good thing. I could really need this holiday. I mean, I've been stressin' out for the past 10 months. Not exactly. But all the assignments, worksheets always had been giving me those massive headache. This holiday, I feel like going for piano lessons. OH which reminds me I should really get photography lessons too(I guess I'm on my own on that one). But I'm so predictable. I won't do any of that. I think I would just stay home & read more books. OH AND, brother's coming back on the 23rd of December. Can't wait. I have so much to tell him! And he said he might be giving me one of his Iphone when he comes back. I wish he would.
okay ninja out-
Labels: feelings. holidays
Friday, October 21, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Goodnight awesome world! Stay cute. Mmuah! xoxo
I promise that I would always take care of you. :3 I would tell the world that I love you. I mean it. I just can't lose you right now. You mean so much to me. We've been through alot together in those 8 months. I can't just let it go like that. I promise I'll be the best for you if you just let me try.
8 months together, and Imma make it forever baby <3
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you ought to stay