Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
I bet you don't know meCassie Audrey FIFTEEN. TAKEN, 030211. 130297.
LJ is everything to me. I like novels & the colour blue. I give (o) fucks to haters. I always get inspired by passionate people doing what they fancy about. I like to say what's on my mind, whether it bothers people or not.
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Monday, October 29, 2012
No matter what I say or do, it's never gonna get any better. I just wish things would go right. Not the other way round. But it's not and I'm so sad about it. Why aren't fairies real? They're supposed to be! They have to! To make sure people around are happy. But again, one said a rejection is a way of God saying "wrong way", so yeah. I'd probably shouldn't have said that.
Anyway. Today was our form 5 convocation and, it was... Fine I guess. It was boring. I'm not gonna miss my seniors. But I will to some. You know nothing about my seniors if you say I'm a bitch for not being sad about their leaving. I'm not! Because I can say that only quarters of them are good, and most of them are pain in the ass. I'm serious. You. Know. Nothing. It makes the school even more like a living hell. Let's just put it in a way I'm happy their gone.
Changing the subject, what is with this Korean drama and k-pop(?). Why don't I know anything about this. My friends are all like being such a bitch about the Korean guys, I'm here like... Who the hell is *insert Korean dude's name*? The hell? I am not even a fan base bye
School is coming to an end, so soon. Love is leaving. I have to accept the fact. Though how manja I am to love, but what to do. Can't do anything about it. Hah. It's okay. I'm fine.
Baby, if you're reading this. I wish you all the best for SPM, all the best in life. I know we have a lot of ups and downs but that's why we love each other. To make sure we can go through it together. I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you. I just hate the thought of losing you. You know. I don't wanna think about it. I just wanna think about you. I love you, baby :)
I want to start writing. You know what I mean? Write a book, something. But I feel like I have no time for all that. I just really want to. And again, I don't know what to write about. Or more like.. Force my parents to give me one day off and let me go on an mini-adventure. and only to bring my bag pack, a book, a pen, my wallet, phone and a hat. Just go on somewhere people might not even know where to find. No, not menghilang.
Monday, October 15, 2012
I REFUSE TO GET HURT.
Right now at this moment. I am happy. Free from all the stress. Now at least, the pressure is low. No more 'Go study! Don't use your handphone too much! PMR is near!' Now I can have my peace and quiet. *smiles like an idiot*
HAI EVERYONE. As you can observe that I am very happy(well not really since I have nothing to do now), because we finally overcome PMR. Haa. Now the pressure is on the outcome. Yes. The outcome. Can you imagine, after all the hardwork and it didn't pay off. You see your parents get so dissapointed and what even your teachers.... But hey! I have a good feeling on this. I really do.
I kinda miss Shera. Yeah. I do. But what she did, its still haunting me. I forgive her, but I can't forget. Therefore, I have to wait till it's not hurting me anymore. I pity her for what DW did to her. I knew this was going to happen. But, his text was so convincing.. even I trusted him. I mean, if this happened because of what I did to his friend, I am sorry but you don't have the rights to put this on Shera. I trusted you, man. I did. Now I can't even....whatever. I thought after I leave the friendship, he could at least take care of her.. But he couldn't. Damn.... I feel sorry for her. I should probably talk to her. Ego is a motherfucker
Now I can bitch all around. Hahaha. Shiz. That whore from my school, needs to get slap for talking bad about others as if she's perfect. I mean c'mon. She's not even that pretty and she goes all saying people being ugly and shit when she...nevermind. I don't even wanna say it. Hah! I hope karma fucking hits you.
I can't even explain how happy I am right now. For having people who loves me around. And I shall be forever thankful to the God, Almighty.
Before I go, just so you know...
Impossible is declare my small mens find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.
Saturday, October 06, 2012
I hate how I have to tolerate with bullshits. You know what I mean? I hate being a shitty situation. I hate shitty environment. Like seriously! I'm still young and I'm already screwing my life. Fucked up situation is fucked up.
Losing everyone I love, everyone that surrounds me with so much love which is now turn to hate. Yes, hate is the word. PMR is in like 3 days left and I'm here fitting my precious ass on the sofa. So comfortably. You know how things starts to change when you're in your comfort zone. Hoping everything would turn out just fine even though you know that it's not and then you get hurt because you tend to have high hopes. That's how you die. That's why you should not have high hopes! Please people. Time to get legit now
We're young, we laugh till tears comes out, we eat all we can, all we want, we party hard, we fall in love, we hurt, get our heart broken, we lie. Because we're not perfect and we're human. Not a fucking Goddess. Note that.
If you have anything to say.. Say it to my face. Not my fucking back. Or maybe you should just kiss my ass. That's fine too.
PMR, ATTEND TO ME THOU FAULT BEAST ~
Monday, October 01, 2012
To me, you're everything....
I know how stuffs will get tougher day by day. As I grow up to be a mature lady and how I have to face the reality. I've never been so proud of myself for being able to stand independently without judging that I could have never stand with pride despite this insecurities and how I can go through this. As a 15 year old girl, I am thankful for having such great friends....
Stay strong no matter what...
HAPPY OCTOBER EVERYONE. LET'S HOPE THIS MONTH WON'T FAIL US.
Things are getting much easier now that I have someone in my life. I can't tell who.. Not even my friends know who I'm with now. We both promised not to tell anyone. Until everything is settled. Okay maybe I spoke too soon. My life is not getting easier but actually getting harder. As I have to go through this alone. For now.. I could only pray to God. Asking for his guidance, for his forgiveness.
PMR is just around the corner. I am ready for this war.
As she opens her eyes, watching the sunrise. She waited for the sun kiss on her skin. She got up and told herself to be strong and lock away all the pain memories. But she knows that it's gonna come right back to her as she can't stop thinking about how everything doesn't seem to be working for her. She held a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She used to be the girl who smiles a lot without even faking it. All she wanted was love and not to be alone... But she couldn't have that now because all the walls she had built for years, came crumbling down just because a guy told her that she wasn't good enough, not good enough for him.
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you ought to stay