Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
I bet you don't know meCassie Audrey FIFTEEN. TAKEN, 030211. 130297.
LJ is everything to me. I like novels & the colour blue. I give (o) fucks to haters. I always get inspired by passionate people doing what they fancy about. I like to say what's on my mind, whether it bothers people or not.
— Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
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Saturday, June 16, 2012
I WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN
God will make a way, when there seems to be no way.
One day, when I die, I wanna go to heaven. Actually, heaven is where you are at your happiest. But just believe that there is the existence of God. You have too. Because there is, and there's only one. Where would you think you'll be at now if there's none? Think about it. Isn't it the most beautiful thing ever? Haaa :)
You know how I always thought about death. How I am so scared of it. I'm just not ready. But mom always tell me to be ready for everything. I'm not ready to lose my loved ones. I had this dream where everyone dies. Because we were lacking of oxygen. k. CHANGING THE SUBJECT.
Hello readers! xx
I am here at home, alone. Waiting for everyone to come back. I'm alone because LJ is busy, my family went to church. I'm here stuck at home because I'm sick. Yet I still can go online. I want Milky Pearl!! I'm hungry as fuck right now. I really wish I can like randomly open the fridge and pizza or or CHICKEN FOLDOVER suddenly appears out of no where. Haa. How life would be so much easier. I wish I was rich. I wish too much don't I. Hmm. That's why I end up getting myself hurt every single fucking time.
Tuesday, June 05, 2012
SECOND CHANCES, MAYBE?
It sucks to cry. It's even worse when you have to hold back the tears and pretend to be fine. Sometimes you can't pretend anymore and sometimes emotions get to strong and you break. This doesn't make you weak, this makes you human.
I really don't know where this leads us to. But, I think we'll come to our own place one day. Actually, I don't think. I know so. And by that time, we'll be at our happiest days, most unforgettable moments where we won't stop making each other laugh. Get to know a lot more about each other, without faking flaws. I can't wait for that, you know. I don't know how long will it take to reach there, but I just hope we can go through this together. Face the ups and downs together. No matter what, right? I really don't mind having people think what we are, they don't know what we're going through.
It's really normal to miss someone who died, who you don't get to see often, but it's not when you miss someone you see everyday. I miss you even if we're together. The times we spent together is really not enough. I swear, I wish I could just stop the time without hurting anyone. But, I appreciate, I cherish every single second spent with you.
Hello readers! xx
I'm feeling so drained out because of our practice for 'MSR'. It's really not like me. I've never joined anything like this in my whole life. But, in order to success, you need to be open to new things. Open a new chapter in your life. When you think that your life sucks, think about the things you have and compare to those people who are dying to have what you have now. Some people don't even have shelters. Be grateful bitch.
Anyway, you know how I really
Saturday, June 02, 2012
I want you to stay & never to leave me ever again.
That is all I ask for.
Early January 2011, my best friend had a crush on you, I hated you. I've always had detested you. I told her not to be with you because you look like someone who would play with people's feeling. I felt the intense hatred towards you. I didn't even want to spend a single second looking at you. Then, my best friend said I would like you if I get to know you. I never thought about that later.
During that time, I was having the "I need someone to talk to", I asked advice from a friend of yours, Azureen. She told me to ask you. So I did. I totally forgot who you were that time. So we chat and chatted till' midnight. We did that every night ever since. I started to like talking to you. By then, my friend had someone else. Her feelings for you weren't there anymore. I just totally forgot who you were.
Yes, I asked for your number. Just because I was tired of talking through Facebook. We text a lot more then. We started to treat each other like couples, but we weren't. People thought we were. Most of them. My feelings for you started to grow. But I didn't want to be more than friends. Days pass by, we started to hold hands. I hugged you every time daddy arrives. Then we text again.
End of January, you asked me to go out with you and your friends. But we went out on 2nd February 2011. Things happened. We claimed ourselves as scandals to people. It was so funny. We wore the same color. Purple & black. I remember. That night, we text again. Then that is how we got where we are now. It took us 6 months to actually trust each other. It got us until today. So you're like my best friend. I am head over heels in love with you, LJ.
I've never imagined having such beautiful relationship with you. I know I love you more than I've loved anyone before when I start to forgive you so easily. You left me hanging for 2 days without leaving any text messages. I was dead worried. I missed you. I let my mind wander off about you. I cried in the middle of the night thinking where you are. Though I make myself busy. You never left my mind. You were always there. I felt your presence with me. I felt you hugging me when I was sleeping. You came into my dream. It felt so real. I wish it was. Last night you text me. I was happy. I really was. But I still have that feeling where I wanted to end things with you. But my heart melt instantly when you said you were sorry. You said you love me. I don't know whether I should take that in, but I did. This morning, I told you 'they' didn't want us together anymore because of what you did. Then you said you'd explain things to them. It made me even happier. I have no idea I could love you this much. Although you hurt me so much, I don't know why I'm still giving you chances. I've given you too many. Now I just really want to be with you. We got through our ups and downs together. Why can't we do it again now, right? I'm sure we can, dear.
Forever is a long time, but I don't mind spending it by your side.
Happy 16th Monthsary baby. Iloveyou.
It really has been awhile. I'm sorry for putting in on a long hiatus. Seems like I only have the time for blog during the holidays. Apparently, I am such a lazy bum. I'm always too lazy to go and turn my laptop on. I've always been on twitter through my iPhone. I know. But, whatever it is. Things have changed so much. I can actually see the big difference in my life before and now. I've becoming more.. I don't know what word I should use to describe this changes in my life. But for once there, I thought I would have the chance to be happy and then I let the chance go. I don't know. I'm fine. But I'm not happy, because of what I did. It still haunts me to every bits of core.
Hello everyone. :) It's June! I'm so excited. I hope this month would at least lead me to my happiness I deserve. Anyway, we celebrated Teachers Day just before holiday, and it was fun. It was okay(I guess). I took so many pictures. I finished my battery exactly at the end of the day.
Highlight of the day was(even though it was the saddest most hurtful for some students that day), U. Pauziah is moving. She won't be in Stella Maris anymore after this holiday. Though she doesn't teach my class, but it was sad. Really. I felt her pain.
Well as you can see, she's actually crying. *sigh* No more feeling sad.
Subject changed, it was a hectic day too you know, but I get the chance to take picture with this form one kid, I mean she's just so cute I feel like kicking her. Oh and a decent picture with my sisters, Shera & Alyn and about 2 years, one more picture with Tamara. Haa. I miss her. I miss how I could actually talk to her about anything. She's the type of friend who would hold on to that secret and keeps her mouth shut. Then she gives the best advice. Same goes to Blanchie! Ah. I just love them both too.
and here's a picture of me and baby! :)
I guess I'm done here. Maybe I'll post more pictures or updates later. I love you all so much! Happy June everyone :) *hugs and kisses*
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you ought to stay